Only You Know, LORD

“LORD, You know my every breathe, my every thought, my every intention. LORD, You know where I struggle and falter. You know where I succeed. And You know what drifts me further from You.

“For You know all of me.

“So I ask You, LORD, what is it that is pulling me my own way? What is it causing me to keep my distance from You? What is it, LORD? Show me. Only You know.

“And only You know my own heart. So deeper and deeper You ask me to go, with You. For You want me to see. And You want me to know. Not my own heart, but Yours.

“You want me to know You. To see You. To look to You. Because You want me to have You. Because that is how distance from You ceases so that I come. So that I run. To You. By seeing You.

“And it happens, in all of my wanting to know what and why and how. In all of my wanting to understand so as to grow, so as to know, so as to have. You only show me more of You. In all of my wanting, You only show me You. Until it is You I see. Until it is You I know as enough, for me, for always. Only You.

“For that is where You want me to be, nestled within You, held tightly by You, so close to You I no longer fear or doubt. So close to You I finally rest. So close to You I do not want. Anymore. Not at all. There is where You want me to be. In Your enough, in You.

“So I can be okay with not knowing, because only You know, LORD. Amen.”

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“So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory. Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you. So I will bless you as long as I live; in your name I will lift up my hands.... for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” - Psalm 63:2-4, 7-8