It’s Just so Hard

That thing that is so hard for you. To do. That trial you must enter. That temptation you must face. Day after day. It's what causes fear to rise, what feels like torture. To you. Because everything inside of you screams, "Why?" And everything inside of you finds every reason why you shouldn't have to. And everything inside of you deep-down knows, the battle is too strong for you. So you want to give up, and you just want to run, the other way.

Because when every insecurity raises its head in defiance, and every emotion rallies against you, against your stepping out. It's just so hard. So hard to move forward. So hard to trust. It's just so hard.

For everything inside of you is fighting against everything that is of Christ, in you. The flesh against the Spirit. Inside of you. And Christ, Who is your very life, by the Spirit living within you, longs to be for you, your life. But it is still just so hard, because the flesh feels so strong. Because every emotion inside of you feels so real and so defiant.

And you know it's true, "The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:41)

But, it has to be okay.

For the flesh to be weak. For the emotions to rise to the heights. For it to be just so hard. It has to be okay. It must be okay.

So that everything inside of you can rest and no longer fight against Christ, but rather abide in Christ. Through the storm. In the battle. Engulfed by emotions. It has to be okay.

Because it’s just so hard, otherwise. It’s just so hard to put up a fight, when the battle was never yours to fight. It’s just so hard to cover up those emotions when they were never meant to be a secret. It’s just so hard to be strong when you were created weak on purpose.

But those just so hard things, they are okay. They are doing a good thing in you. They are. For they are bringing you to your Gethsemane. Every time. And it's at your Gethsemane, where you can, where you must, pour out every hard thing to your Father. You must. For freedom to be found. Every time. You must.

You must not hide your emotions. You must not try to be strong. You must not fight against your hard thing. No. You must not.

For freedom is only found when the flesh submits to the Spirit. "...not as I will, but as you will." - Matthew 26:39

And submission only happens at your Gethsemane, where you lay out every emotion before your Father. When the battle rages the fiercest, and the threat feels the realest. When the flesh is found to be the weakest. That's when submission happens.

And you can choose Christ there, you can choose to abide in Christ. When it’s just so hard. And Christ will give you life. He will! He will give you His Life!

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"And they went to a place called Gethsemane. And he said to his disciples, "Sit here while I pray." And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. And he said to them, 'My soul is very sorrowful, even to death. Remain here and watch.'" - Mark 14:32-34